You may no longer be in my life, but you will always be a part of my memories.

It’s been ages since we talked. Or at least ages for us. We haven’t had a proper conversation since the New Year. It’s been 3 months. 3 months of radio silence; a few words here and there, a few words to pretend that we are friends. But we aren’t. You’ve moved on, and I’m trying to, and each day it gets easier. Don’t get me wrong, I want to reach out to you, I want to say hi, ask how you’re doing, see if you’re happy. I want to hear your voice, hear your laugh, hear you say my nickname. And every time I think of reaching out I stop myself. Talking to you, hearing you, would only set me back. I once thought I couldn’t live without you. I thought it would hurt, I thought it would destroy me. And it did, for a while. But I’m stronger now. And I get stronger each and every day. Seeing pictures of you and her has only pushed me to get over you faster. But you come back to me sometimes, in my memories. Complete unwarranted. I will be sitting in class and a memory will appear to me, more real than ever. You may no longer be in my life, but you will always be a part of my memories. My memories will always keep you present in my life. I’ll think about the day we walked back from town as you chased me, and the way we crashed down into the grass because we couldn’t stop laughing. I’ll remember the time I made you wait outside your door for a surprise but you already knew what it was. I’ll remember the time you brought me M&Ms to the library because you knew I would be studying late and you knew it was my favourite candy. I’ll remember running through Boston with you holding my hand. I’ll remember the time I kicked your ass in bowling. I’ll remember the times you kissed me like you needed me to breathe. I’ll remember your drunk confessions: the nights you told me how much you missed me when we were apart, even if it was only for a weekend. I’ll remember the night you cried. I’ll remember the nights I cried. I’ll remember the goodbyes. As much as I can try to get rid of you, you will always be a part of me, in my memories. You’ll always be my first love. The first I would have done anything for. And I will remember you. You’ll be in my memories. And one day, when I think back on the times we had together I will only smile. I will smile when I think of the happy times we shared, the kisses, the hugs, the laughs. I will smile when I think of you, when I think of our friendship. But I will be sad, sad that we have lost our friendship, sad that we will no longer share any laughs, or late night talks. Sad that we couldn’t salvage the best part of our relationship. Sad that we won’t make any more memories. I miss you most when I walk through my memories. Even when I let you go, you’ll always be here. You’ll always be a part of my memories.